


Time is Borrowed

by Iloveadabarba



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Undercover, Undercover as Married, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 19:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11607789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iloveadabarba/pseuds/Iloveadabarba
Summary: FBI Agent Sonny Carisi must go undercover with Sergeant Barba of SVU to solve the deaths of unidentified children. Rafael has been a trusted member of SVU for several years and has the support of his boss, Olivia and their ADA, Nick. Sonny is a new FBI Agent who struggles with his sexuality and treatment at the agency. Acting as a married couple, Sonny and Rafael learn to trust each other over time and solve the mystery surrounding the deaths.





	1. FBI Interference

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Universe with canon storylines and details. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> ENJOY!

Sergeant Rafael Barba of Manhattan SVU was exhausted. He had pulled several doubles the past two weeks to cover SVU’s newest mother, Detective Amanda Rollins. Rafael didn’t mind. He was a single man with nothing to go home to. He had adjusted to working longer hours when Liv had adopted Noah and gotten the promotion to Lieutenant. He had heard from Fin that Olivia had always stepped in when her partner, Stabler, had to care for his wife and children so he felt a responsibility to do the same.

Rafael needed to put in the hours anyway. The Chief of Police wanted his son to be SVU’s second-in-command but Rafael had passed his test first and Olivia appointed him. In truth, Mike Dodds wasn’t hurt by the move. He wanted to focus on his fiance and continue getting used to the way SVU worked. Chief Dodds however always seemed to be angling for Rafael's removal. Olivia’s appointment had come as a bit of surprise to him. He didn’t even tell her he had passed the test, he suspected Fin had. Fin had been supportive of Rafael from his first day at SVU. Rafael figured it was because he worked hard to keep Olivia, the mama bear of SVU, happy.

Rafael and Olivia had gotten off to a rough start. After Stabler left, she was generally closed off and not very receptive to a new partner, even one with as much experience as Barba. He had been shuttled from borough to borough, working homicide and special victims unit for years. He and Liv had bonded over the Johnny D case. He had been shot by Johnny D but luckily avoided a career ending injury and killed the bastard. 

“Barba, do you have those files on the Janie Doe case?”

Rafael looked up to see their ADA, Nicolas Amaro, standing at his desk. The man was a star for the New York District Attorney's office, taking chances and making lots of enemies. He and Nick tended to have conflicting views on how to handle perps and victims but over the years a mutual respect had grown between them. Rafael wouldn’t deny he found ADA Amaro extremely attractive. The slender man wore perfectly tailored suits and kept his body in great shape. Rafael appreciated the man’s constant presence at the precinct and how he tended to perch on Rollins’s desk so Rafael could appreciate his backside. 

“Of course, Counselor.” 

The disturbing death of a child had fallen into SVU’s lap a week prior. The body was found in an abandoned warehouse, the only visible injury was a gash on her head. The M.E. had not found any signs of sexual trauma which Rafael was grateful for. Sadly, the girl could not be identified which he thought was odd for a child so young. It was like the child did not exist before she had been found. Rafael had visited her twice in the morgue hoping he would hear from the M.E. that she had been named. 

Rafael held out the folder and couldn’t help but smirk when Amaro’s fingers brushed his. He could have sworn the younger man was blushing but his tan skin made it hard to tell. Rafael knew that was part of the attraction he held for the man, their common Cuban roots and his ease with the Spanish language. 

“Thank you, Sergeant.” 

Rafael watched Amaro look around and notice how empty the precinct was. Olivia was on-duty but her office was empty at the moment. 

“Well, this case has so many details that I couldn’t possibly understand them only by looking at the file.” Amaro declared. 

“I guess that Harvard degree only takes the boy from el barrio so far.” 

“Hmm, your generation paved the way for mine to get out, jefe.” Amaro dared not only to smirk at him but to sit on Rafael’s desk. 

“Maybe I could help you, read through the case file,” Rafael offered, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk. “As a professional courtesy, of course.” 

“My place or yours?” 

“Definitely yours. I haven’t seen my apartment in two weeks. Who knows what state it’s in?” 

Amaro laughed and Rafael admired his lean neck as he threw his head back. If this was going where he thought it was in a few short hours he could be leaving his mark on that man’s neck. He really hoped it was. They had been dancing around each other for years. Rafael was a patient man but he wasn’t a monk. 

There was no way Rafael was mistaking the desire he saw in Amaro’s eyes. 

“I really want to get to know this case well. I found two more with similar M.O.’s in Brooklyn and I need to beg their DA not to let it go cold.” 

Or maybe not. Maybe Amaro’s eyes always had a bit of seduction in them.

“Let me get my coat.” Rafael knew his voice had lost its flirty edge but he assumed he was not getting laid at this point so why even try. 

“Thanks, Barba.” Amaro smiled and removed himself from his spot on Rafael’s desk. “Maybe we can order some Thai.” 

Rafael gathered his coat and scarf and began walking with Amaro to the precinct exit. Olivia appeared around the corner, surprised to see him and Amaro.

“Amaro, Barba. I need you two to stay.” 

Amaro made a groan and Rafael couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Not only was he not getting laid tonight but he was going to be stuck at work again for his fifth double in two weeks. 

Two men and a woman walked into the precinct, following Olivia to her office. Rafael and Nick exchanged curious glances. 

“My office now. And bring that file Sergeant Barba shouldn't have given you, Counselor.”

Barba rolled his eyes and set his coat back on the rack. Rafael allowed Nick to enter the office first, he could tell by Olivia’s tone that this would be a closed door meeting. He shut it firmly and look at Olivia who was seated at her desk with the file opened on her desk. Amaro was standing to her left and their guests on the opposite side of the desk. 

“Agents, this is ADA Nicolas Amaro and Sergeant Rafael Barba.” Olivia introduced.

Rafael felt his eyebrows rise, interested in what the FBI was doing here. The woman agent spoke for her group, “I'm Agent Lewis, this is Agent Porter…” she motioned to a man about her own age. “And this is Agent Carisi.” She motioned to the young looking male. While Agent Porter looked put together for a man representing the FBI, Agent Carisi did not. His suit was cheap and he had the most horrible moustache Rafael had seen in years. He supposed the facial hair was an attempt to age himself. He and Amaro were probably close in age but Rafael knew he would much rather look at his eye-candy ADA. 

“We’re here about the Janie Doe case.” Agent Lewis announced. “It is our case now.”

“Now, wait a minute.” Amaro’s expression was irritated. Rafael had seen the hothead go from zero to sixty before and he hoped these FBI Agents could handle it. 

“I have been doing research for weeks. I have linked this M.O. to two other cases…”

“Well, we have five more in five different jurisdictions, spanning the last eight years. You probably would like to make a name for yourself, Counselor but we have a federal prosecutor to work this.” Agent Lewis explained.

Rafael hadn't seen anyone cut Amaro down like that in ages. He wouldn't be surprised if Amaro let Agent Lewis have a piece of his mind. Rafael spotted Olivia reach out and grab Amaro’s arm tightly. If anyone could keep Amaro calm, Olivia could. 

“So you needed three FBI Agents to pick up a file?” Rafael asked.

Amaro shot him a grateful smirk.

“No.” Agent Porter spoke up, “We came here to brief Lieutenant Benson and ask for you Sargeant Barba to go undercover for us.”

Rafael felt his eyes widen. The FBI wanted him to go undercover, well, that was grand considering they had rejected his applications to the agency five times. 

“Why do you want Sargeant Barba?” Olivia inquired closing the file. 

Agent Lewis explained, “We know these children were brought over illegally from Spanish-speaking countries. We have been able to link one of them to an adoption agency with offices in Queens.”

“They specialise in helping same-sex couples adopt.” Agent Carisi added. Rafael cringed at his awful Staten Island accent. How was this guy a FBI agent? “At this point we don't know if the couples are complicit in the visa-fraud or deaths.”

“So,” Agent Porter continued, “we are sending Agent Carisi undercover to start the adoption process with the company. But he needs a partner, one that speaks fluent Spanish..”

Olivia interrupted, “And a SVU member, familiar with the M.O.”

“And the FBI is still a boy's club,” Lewis added, “We needed an operative that convincely be in a same-sex relationship.” 

Rafael felt his face heat up. He had disclosed as bisexual on his FBI paperwork because he believed in honesty but he long suspected his sexuality was keeping him from the “boy's club”. 

Olivia strongly objected to the agency taking her newly appointed second-in-command. Porter basically told her she didn't have a choice which sent Amaro into a fit about abuse of power. Rafael noticed Agent Carisi was silent throughout the entire exchange. He simply sighed and put his hands in his pockets. The tall man slouched a bit with a worried expression painted his face. Rafael understood his irritation. They were wasting time bickering when there were children in danger that they might be able to save. 

“I have two conditions.” Rafael announced, putting a stop to the bickering. 

“One, Agent Carisi shaves that absolutely horrible moustache. How can I be pretend to want to raise children with his man with that thing on his face?”

Amaro laughed while Carisi scoffed. 

“Use your dramatic skills, you obviously have them in abundance.” he snapped.

“He'll do it.” Porter declared.

“Yeah, no.” Carisi replied, looking at his co-workers with annoyance. 

“The federal government owns your ass, Carisi. You will do it.” Lewis’s expression left no room for arguments. 

“And your second request?” Porter inquired. 

“ADA Amaro has be allowed to prosecute all New York cases.”

There was a silence in the room. Porter and Lewis looked to each, reaching a conclusion without words. 

“You drive a hard bargain.” Lewis smiled. “Done.”

Agent Lewis extended her hand to Rafael, “Welcome to the team.” 

“Thank you, Agent Lewis.”

“No need to be so formal, call me Dana!” 

“Thank you, Dana.” After shaking her hand, he shook Agent Porter or Dean's hand. When he was face to face with Agent Carisi he had to admit to himself he was fairly attractive and would be more without that moustache.

“Call me Sonny!” He grinned. “Everyone-”

“No one does.” Dana and Dean groaned in unison. Their dislike of the young agent was obvious but Carisi didn't seem to react.

The senior agents wanted time to discuss logistics with Olivia so Rafael and Nick excused themselves to the main room. Rafael noticed Agent Carisi followed them but he ignored the younger man. He wanted to talk to Amaro before he was gone for who knows how long. 

“Gracias, Rafi. I appreciate that.” Nick placed a hand on Rafael's shoulder and squeezed lightly. 

“You are the right man to prosecute this case. I wasn’t going to let the Feds take that from you.” 

“I owe you.” the flirtatious look in Amaro’s eyes returned. “When you get back, I'll have to repay you.” 

Rafael was about to reply when Carisi spoke up,”Well, husband! We better start getting to know each other.”

It looks could kill then Rafael glare would have destroyed Carisi.

“Can't this wait till the morning?” 

“Nope, you are the FBI’s payroll,” Carisi glanced at his watch, “starting now.”

Rafael could already tell this was going to be torture. 

“I will let the two of you get started.” Nick gave Rafael what could only be called a reassuring smile.

Rafael sighed as he watched his ADA saunter out of the precinct. It was official he had the absolute worst luck. 

The next couple of hours went by quickly. Carisi and the other agents had done a good job prepping covers and a backstory. They would be newly married, Rafael would be an accountant originally from Miami, Florida and Sonny, a realtor from Staten Island. They would be taking Rafael's cover last name, Diaz. Rafael wondered if they knew it was a family name or if it was just a sign from his abuela. Sign of what, he couldn't say.

“I thought we should have a hyphenated last name but Agent Porter said the adoption agency seems to favor couples with a single last name. Which I think is so last century, but whatever.”

“Your unsolicited opinion is neither needed nor wanted, Agent Carisi.” Rafael said sharply, hoping to get the rambling agent onto the next subject. 

“Sonny, you should get used to calling me Sonny. Or mi amor if you prefer.” Sonny leaned in towards Rafael, making his desk seem much smaller. He had a bright smile for someone who worked for a government agency. Those guys usually had a permanent scowl on their faces.

“Please do not butcher the language of my ancestors with your horrible accent.” Rafael was only half serious but he noticed Sonny’s smile suddenly disappeared and he leaned back in the office chair, away from Rafael. 

“Hey, I’m proud of my Spanish.” he murmured. “I’ve worked really hard on it.”

 

Rafael should have apologized, or at least changed the subject but instead he uttered, “Then why did they feel the need to get you a partner who spoke fluent Spanish?”

Rafael shouldn’t have enjoyed having power over the young agent but he did feel some satisfaction when Sonny’s face started to turn red. 

“Because the guys at the office can barely stand to be in the same room with me, think they will catch 'being gay' from me even though I am bi. Besides, I’m just the token LGTBQ person on staff, they don’t actually think I can do anything.”

To say Rafael was shocked by Sonny’s honesty would be an understatement. His satisfaction from earlier gone. Sonny had confessed his lack of worth to the FBI with no malice or anger in his voice, just a sadness and disappointment. 

“Anyway,” he suddenly brightened up again, “We are moving into our new townhouse tomorrow morning…” Sonny checked his watch, “Well, this morning in a few hours. The FBI has a moving van with all our new furniture and stuff.” 

“So we actually have to move it.” Rafael commented. 

“Yeah, it will look good for the neighbors.” Sonny explained. 

“Carisi! Time to go!” 

Rafael and Sonny looked up to see Agents Porter and Lewis standing with Olivia. 

“I believe we need to eliminate your moustache before you meet the moving van.” 

Sonny made a small wounded sound and placed his hand on his moustache. “Shhh, not so loud, it will hear you.” 

Both Porter and Lewis did not look assumed but Olivia laughed. 

“Rafael, you are going to have your hands full with this one!” 

Rafael watched the young agent as he left with his superiors. He definitely was going to have his hands full.


	2. Move In Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny is nervous about his latest undercover mission. He and Rafael begin their new life together as a married couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a great vacation and lots of time to practice writing. Much of this chapter was written pre-vacation so if it doesn't flow right that is my fault. I appreciate any comments and critiques.

Sonny was nervous about this undercover assignment. Originally a police officer from Staten Island he had applied for the Bureau on a whim after a bad breakup with his boyfriend and an ugly fight with his family over his sexuality. The mess had left him more heartbroken than he knew how to handle. His acceptance letter to the agency had been a godsend. He was able to escape Staten Island for his training in D.C and had been working in the office there since. 

Although the escape from home had been nice at first, Sonny quickly realised he didn’t quite fit in at the Bureau. He was never invited out with his department even though he knew they had a weekly meet up at a bar on 11th street. He had shown up once and the evening had been laced with tension and blatant animosity. He decided not to go back. 

He did make friends with one of the federal prosecutors, Alexandra, while testifying in an international drug bust case. She humored him when he talked about applying to law schools and even helped him with his applications when he finally decided to go for it. Unfortunately, they didn’t get to hang out much outside of work. Sonny was undercover more days than he was in the office. He had been a drug dealer, pimp, and prostitute more times than he could count. He had also been a stripper once and since then Sonny kept his body in the best shape possible. 

In those first few months, Sonny believed his co-workers didn’t get his personality so he tried to tone it down. He tried to seem less enthusiastic about being at the FBI and worked on not speaking during department briefings. He had thought it was working. He had thought his co-workers would eventually start to like him. 

But Sonny realised that wouldn’t happen when one assignment he went undercover as a bartender in a gay bar. He had been on his way to Porter’s office when he heard two of his male co-workers talking. 

“Did you hear they put Carisi on the Daelmans case?”

“Yeah, he’s a homo, right? So it will probably be a dream assignment for him.” 

“Probably. Stay away from him, wouldn’t want to catch anything.”

Sonny hadn’t wanted to believe what he heard. They had not only used a homo as a slur but the disgust behind it had been clear. These guys didn’t even know Sonny, they hadn’t bothered to even try and in that moment he had decided he would distance himself from his co-workers permanently. 

It had been awkward when Dana and Dean had explained his current assignment in a briefing. None of the male agents volunteered to work the case with him. Dana had played it off saying that they should get a SVU Detective for the job. Sonny couldn’t help feel a bit angry when his male co-workers looked relieved. 

Sonny enjoyed working with Agent Lewis. She was the best in their office at undercover work and even treated him decently. She appreciated that Sonny took many of the UC jobs the other agents did not want. About an hour after the briefing she came to his desk with pictures of the male Detectives at SVU units across New York State and told him to pick one. 

There was one close to Sonny’s age, Mike Dodds, he seemed like an obvious choice with his pedigree. Dana had even suggested he pick him. Usually Sonny would go with Dana’s advice but Sonny eyes were drawn to Sergeant Rafael Barba right away. The man was absolutely gorgeous and there was a fierceness in his eyes the others lacked. Sonny figured if he was going to have to pretend to be married to someone it should probably be someone he was attracted to. 

Dana approved of his choice, assuring him that an SVU member would treat the situation with sensitivity and as a fluent Spanish speaker Barba could be an asset in the case. Sonny was fascinated with the man. He researched his career as an officer of the law. He had an impressive one and it surprised Sonny that he had only recently become a Sergeant. 

Their first meeting had been alright. Rafael seemed to think Sonny was incompetent because of his age, not because of his sexuality which Sonny hated to admit was kind of nice. Living together might be pleasant enough. 

The FBI had decided to house the couple townhouse in the New Jersey suburbs. While moving in they had been greeted by many neighbors. Sonny had expected to take the lead at first until Rafael was more comfortable with their new identities. He didn’t doubt the man's skills as a detective but becoming another person was already second nature to Sonny.

Rafael easily talked to neighbors when they came over to introduce themselves. At one point he had naturally wrapped his arm around Sonny’s waist causing their neighbor to coo at the newly married couple. By the end of the day Rafael had secured them several dinner invitations and set a house-warming dinner party for later in the week. The man wore his new identity well and Sonny could see more of the man in his picture then the sour Sergeant he had met at the precinct. 

Sonny, dress comfortably in a t-shirt and gym shorts, worked on unpacking the dishes in the kitchen while Rafael took a shower. For some reason Rafael had ended up with most of the heavy lifting. Not that Sonny minded. Rafael had an amazingly body that Sonny had enjoyed looking at all day. He hummed to himself while deciding where to place the dishes. He wiggled his upper lip and for the hundredth time felt sad over the loss of his moustache. He started to keep a moustache after he left home for D.C., he had hoped it would make him seem older and more sophisticated. In truth, it had been hard to let it go. He had shaved it before for undercover missions but only when he volunteered. Being told he had to get rid of it had been tough. 

Sonny sighed and looked around their new two level townhouse. One perk of being undercover was enjoying living someone else’s life, in this case someone with money. The living room was set up and decorated. Sonny had spent his time during the day making sure that room and the master bedroom were ready for their first night. Sonny wished the FBI had sprung for a guest room, but he knew real estate was expensive even in Jersey and they would need a dedicated nursery so they could work with the adoption agency. Thankfully they had been give a king bed and Rafael hadn’t mentioned their sleeping arrangements so Sonny certainly wasn’t. 

Rafael walked into the living room and Sonny was glad the kitchen counter was there for him to hide behind. Rafael was shirtless, wearing thin pajama pants and a towel was resting on his shoulders. His hair was wet and he used the towel to rub his hair dry. 

“Sonny, we need to start on these adoption papers.” he declared, sitting on the couch and pulling the papers out from a filebox Sonny had hidden under the coffee table. 

“Would you like some water?” Sonny asked. They had barely talked since Sonny picked him up in the moving van. Rafael had been wearing one of the outfits Sonny and Dana had picked during their planning process, a teal polo and khaki shorts. While Rafael seemed to converse easily with the neighbors he only spoke words to Sonny that confirmed their cover. 

“Isn't that right, Sonny” “Do you need help with that, babe?”

Sonny was usually more comfortable during undercover assignments. He made friends with his targets quickly. Inserted himself into their world easily. But working with a partner instead of a just a technician was odd. They would be in deep cover without any contact from the FBI for three months and Sonny had to admit that terrified him. 

Sonny had sensed some tension between Rafael and the SVU ADA. He wondered if they were in a relationship and if this whole scenario, pretending to be married to another man, would be awkward for them. Sonny wasn’t the best at reading people socially. He was extremely emphatic and could sense many emotions but social cues weren’t his forte. 

“Water would be great.” Rafael replied. “And please tell me you had time to grab groceries while I put the bed together.” 

“Yeah, I did.” Sonny remembered feeling very overwhelmed at the store, trying to be quick but having no idea what his partner ate. 

Sonny poured Rafael a glass of water on set it on their counter. 

“Why don’t you come sit at the island? I can cook us dinner while we go over the paperwork.” Sonny was only a little bit concerned that Rafael would shoot his suggestion down. But Sonny was starving and he hoped he could begin cooking soon. Rafael was staring at the adoption papers intently. Sonny wondered if the Rafael had enough to read the case briefing. Sonny had met him in the moving van mere hours after their first meeting. Because Rafael was shirtless, Sonny could see the tension he was holding in his back. 

“Sure.” Rafael mumbled, eyes still glued to the paperwork as he made his way to their kitchen island. He sat at the counter, he downed his glass of water. “Thank you for the water.” 

“You’re welcome.” Sonny smiled. Being overly polite wasn’t the worse scenario he could think of with his new partner. “I hope you like Italian food.” he declared as he pulled the ingredients from the fridge and pantry. 

“If I don’t have to cook, I’m good.” Rafael smiled. Sonny liked it when he smiled. He felt more at ease. 

“So the adoption papers.”

Rafael went through the information they had already filled out. Since they were newly married their joint bank account was new which they assumed the adoption company would flag. They couldn’t be too perfect or this wouldn’t work. 

“I think we should ask for girl as old as seven or eight.” Sonny added as Rafael read off options to him, “Statistically speaking there are more girls than boys available for adoption and if we demand a boy it may take us longer. We want to have a child before the three month mark.” 

“I agree.” Rafael continued filling out the paperwork and Sonny was pleasantly surprised when Rafael took most of his suggestions. 

There were hundreds of pages to the packet. This process was exhausting and Sonny was grateful Rafael was the one filling it out. 

“It’s like this company has never heard of the internet. This would be so much easier online.” Rafael complained.

Sonny chuckled, “It’s easier to get rid of paper...Hey, dinner’s almost ready. Can you grab some plates?” 

Rafael put the paperwork off to the side and obeyed without any fuss. 

“Third cabinet on the left.” Sonny called out as he finished stirring his alfredo pasta creation.   
“Who picked these plates?” Rafael asked, “You?” 

Sonny turned looked at the orange Fiestaware plates Rafael was placing on their kitchen island. 

“Oh, yeah, I did.” 

Sonny couldn’t read Rafael’s expression which worried him. The man looked sad. Why someone would be sad over plates, Sonny wasn’t sure. They were kind of an ugly color but he thought they matched the Latin theme he had picked for the kitchen. 

“My abuela had a set in this color, that’s all.” 

There was silence as Sonny platted their dinner and refilled their glasses with water. He grabbed some wine from the fridge and pulled wine glasses for both of them. Rafael looked like he needed it. 

“I figured since I was marrying a Hispanic man and taking his last name that would mean I appreciate Latino culture.” Sonny explained. He tried to keep his language as neutral as possible. Although the FBI didn’t have eyes on them Sonny had no way of knowing which rooms were bugged, and if he checked he may get in trouble which he couldn’t afford. Sonny assumed Rafael had read about the bugs in his paperwork, it would explain his lack of talking throughout the day.

“Of course.” Rafael replied softly. 

They ate in silence but thankfully not a tense one. When they came close to the end of the meal, they continued to talk about the adoption details. 

“They want a name that we could “envisioned yourself using for your new perfect addition” or something like that.” Sonny read. He couldn’t understand how these children could end up dead when people wanted them so badly. 

“Catalina.” Rafael answered, not looking up from his plate, “My abuela’s name.” His tone changed to light and matter-of-fact. “I think it is a nice name.”

“Catalina is lovely, Oh, and we can call her Cat as a nickname.” Sonny laughed, “Meow, MEO-” Sonny looked at Rafael and saw the face his colleagues would make when he was annoying them in a meeting, only Rafael looked mad and annoyed. He felt an embarrassed blush fill his cheeks. “I wasn’t making fun. I just thought-” 

“Nevermind what you thought.” Rafael stood up abruptly, grabbing their plates off the island and heading towards the sink. 

“Rafael. I’m sorry.” Sonny attempted to calm the man.   
“Just be quiet, Sonny.” Rafael growled as he turned on faucet and began to clean the dishes. He clanged the pots and pans, gathering the various items Sonny used to make dinner. “Did you have to make such a huge mess?” 

Sonny could tell if he stayed any longer Rafael would continue to verbally go after him. Rafael had been way too calm the past day, Sonny didn’t blame him for getting tense but he hoped he wouldn’t take it out on their new dishware. 

“I’ll do the washing if you want.” Sonny offered. 

“No, I’ll do it.” 

Sonny watched Rafael’s back muscles relax and he was pretty sure Rafel wasn’t going to snap at him again. They needed some space, although things were going well, they were still complete strangers and this place wasn’t ideal to get to know each other. 

“I’m going for a run.” Sonny didn’t wait for a reply. He pretty much bolted, grabbing his running shoes from the shoe rack by the front door. He sat on the porch, trying to get his shoes on quickly, it was dark outside but he could hear the sounds of the neighborhood. People with their windows openly talking loudly and kids playing basketball a few houses down. This was going to be tough, pretending to be in love with a man in knew nothing about. They would have to convince an adoption agency, that had let multiple children die, that they would be good parents. Sonny wasn’t sure how any of this would turn out. 

But he knew that a run would clear his head. After that he could figure out where he was suppose to sleep tonight.


	3. The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Sonny start their domestic life together and interview with the adoption agency.

As soon as Sonny left the house, Rafael regretted snapping at him. Rafael was used to snapping at his colleagues on a daily basis, and it never seemed to scare them off. He and Nick even worked better when they were at odds. The only member of the squad that Rafael would say he avoided insulting was Mike, mainly because he was new to SVU and his father was the police chief. Rafael had some self-control. 

He was grateful Sonny had made them dinner, it had tasted amazing. Rafael only enjoyed homemade meals when he visited his mother. It wasn’t that he couldn’t cook it was just not something he was interested in. 

Rafael finished the dishes and made his way to the master bedroom. For a newly moved in home the bedroom was in a fairly decent state. Sonny had worked very hard throughout the day while Rafael helped the movers with the furniture. Rafael knew he should be thankful for the diligent FBI agent but they were still strangers. Dinner had been the first time they had truly interacted. Sonny seemed pleasant enough and Rafael could stand talking to him now that the awful moustache was gone. 

Rafael dug through a pile of clothes that hadn’t been put away yet for a t-shirt to put on. He was glad to they had started on the adoption papers, the sooner that was done the quicker they could try to solve the case. 

Rafael could still picture the little girl on the slab in the morgue, unknown, unclaimed, and cold. 

He knows Sonny didn’t mean any disrespect when he teased him about calling the child Cat but it had sent Rafael into a negative mood. His abuela had recently passed away alone in her apartment. Rafael had spent the last three months grieving without telling anyone on the team. Liv, his closest friend at the precinct, had asked about his mood but he couldn’t tell her. He felt work and personal life should be separate. This was one of the reasons he had been reluctant to make a move on ADA Amaro despite the attraction he felt. 

Nick had been the only person from work that Rafael had confided in about the loss of his grandmother. Nick had sensed that Rafael’s mood was caused by family. He recalled how Nick had put his hand on his shoulder and simply said, “Confiar en mi.” It had been a relief to confide his pain to someone. 

His personal pain paired with his work anxiety as the new sergeant made him tense. But he shouldn’t have gotten short with Sonny. There was no way of knowing how long they would be together. It would be better if they could stand each other. 

He checked his nightstand drawer and saw his sidearm safely tucked in. They weren’t suppose to have firearms but Rafael had snuck it in during the move. He didn’t know how dangerous this mission would end of being but some protection gave him peace of mind.  
He climbed into bed and reached to turn off the lamp next to him but hesitated. He didn’t want Sonny walking around in the dark, assuming he was going to sleep in the same bed as Rafael. 

He was able to sleep for a little bit until he heard the bedroom door open. He tensed for a moment before he remembered it must be Sonny. He watched the man crept into the room undressing from his sweaty clothes. As he removed his shirt he noticed the lean man had more muscles than he would have thought. His torso was long but his waist slim. Thankfully Sonny grabbed some clothes and went into the master bathroom before completely undressing. 

The shower ran for a short amount of time. When Sonny emerged Rafael pretended to be asleep. He could sense Sonny standing on his side of the bed before he Sonny turned off the light on Rafael’s nightstand. Sonny attempted to quietly walk about the bed but damn, the tall man was clumsy and tripped at least twice on his way. The new bed creaked as Sonny climbed in. 

“Goodnight Rafael.” Sonny whispered. 

Rafael wasn’t sure if Sonny knew he was awake so he kept his eyes closed. 

The day had been exhausting, playing the happy newlywed. Rafael wasn’t sure he had ever smiled so much in his life. He definitely laid it on thick with their neighbors but he had this need to prove to Sonny, the FBI Agent, that he was as proficient at being undercover as the federal employee. 

Rafael hoped sleep would come quickly. The sooner this mission was over the better. 

***

Rafael awoke to soft snoring in his ear and a warm body curled up next to him. Agent Carisi’s arms were curled around his chest and the man was fast asleep. He looked so young without the mustache and in sleep he looked peaceful. Rafael realised his arms were wrapped around the man as well, resting low on the slight waist he had admired the previous night. Both men were dressed in very nice pajamas which help Rafael not be embarrassed by their state. He wasn’t bothered by the position they had ended up in during their sleep until the young man began to cling on tighter and lips gently coming in contact with his neck. 

He bit back a moan. His neck was one of those spots that instantly turned him on. He did not want an FBI Agent waking up to his partner’s morning erection. Although Sonny had openly disclosed his sexuality to Rafael, he doubted the young man wanted an old, jaded SVU Sargeant coming onto him.

He slowly untangled himself from Sonny, relieved when the man didn’t wake immediately.

“Uh?” Sonny mumbled, as his eyes opened. He seemed groggy, running his hand through his hair that was going all directions. It was longer than Rafael had assumed. Without gel slicking it back, Sonny looked much younger than their first meeting. After a few moments Sonny was fully alert. “What’s wrong?” 

“Everything’s fine.” Rafael replied to Sonny’s confused expression. “Time to get up. We have an appointment at the adoption agency at 11.” 

“Would you like some coffee?”

Rafael was so thankful for a fake husband who seemed to play house-husband well. Bless the FBI. 

“Yeah, that would be great.” 

Rafael then walked straight to the bathroom to shower, hoping Sonny wouldn’t spot his reaction to being tangled up. After a quick cool shower, Rafael exited back into the bedroom and noticed the empty bedroom, a simple polo and pants outfit laid out on the bed for him. He dressed and went downstairs to find Sonny in the kitchen. 

The smell of coffee filled the air. 

“Are scrambled eggs ok?” Sonny asked, already cooking in the kitchen, still dressed in his pajamas. The pajamas were blue with a button up shirt and pants. The blue color matched the Agent’s eyes. 

“I figured after last night you would be done cooking for me?” 

Rafael sat at the breakfast bar, in the same place as last night. 

Sonny shrugged. “I never said I was the brightest.” 

Rafael smiled. He did admire Sonny’s ability to start again with a clean slate. 

“I am gonna call the the agency and confirm.” Rafael offered, going to the living room to find where he left his new cell phone last night. 

“K, I will call you when breakfast is ready.” 

Rafael was definitely not going to snap at Sonny anymore. This kid was way too nice to him and he was going to enjoy someone spoiling him. 

***

The adoption agency's office was located on the upper west side of New York City in an old brownstone home. Rafael had felt a bit anxious driving all the way from their new home in Jersey. He had stopped driving years ago, living in a city he could easily walk in. He was also worried he would be recognized on this side of town. 

The inside of the agency was bright white and very temporary in appearance which fit with an illegal or barely legal business. 

“Mr. and Mr. Diaz?” the polite receptionist asked. They handed her their application papers and were directed to a waiting room where three other couples were waiting. They had wait through each couple’s turn and additional couples came in to wait as well. This operation seemed to be very popular. 

Rafael took a moment to admire Sonny in the waiting room. He was dressed a black polo and khaki pants. In the quiet waiting room, Rafael’s mind differed to Nick. Sonny’s preselected outfit looked like something the ADA might wear out of the office, not that Rafael knew for sure. For all their flirting and late night caps at his office, Rafael knew very little about Nick Amaro. His attraction to him was strong, he knew that much. He also knew as soon at this mission was done he wasn’t going to wait around hoping something was going to happen between them. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the receptionist, “Ms. VanHorn will see you now.”  
Rafael followed Sonny into a mid-sized office, sparsely decorated and still smelled like fresh paint. At the desk in the middle of the room was a white woman in her mid-40s, dressed in an expensive suit and wearing oversized jewelry. She was reading over a copy of their application that the receptionist had taken from them when they arrived. 

She motioned for the couple to sit at two chair across from her desk and they did. Rafael shot Sonny a look that he hoped communicated that they needed to up their couple act. Rafael moved his chair a bit closer to Sonny and took his right hand in his left. 

“Ah, the Diaz’s.” She smiled, taking off her glasses. “What made you decide to adopt?” 

Rafael was about to speak but glanced at Sonny and saw him ready to answer. 

Sonny began, “Well, I have always wanted children. I come from a big Italian family. I knew after Rafi and I got married, I would want to start a family right away.” 

Ms. VanHorn seemed to like Sonny’s answers and then looked directly at Rafael to continue. 

“I actually never saw myself having children but after being with Sonny I can’t imagine life without him and I want us to raise a child together.” 

Rafael knew he had the woman’s attention captured. He took Sonny’s hand that he was holding and brought it too his lips. The sound of the kiss to Sonny’s hand was the loudest sound in the room. 

“I can see Sonny being a fantastic father.” He winked at Sonny. Sonny tilted his head in a way the interviewer may think was sweet but Rafael translated it as Sonny saying, ‘Are you serious?’ 

“How sweet!!” Ms. VanHorn exclaimed. “I have to help you get towards the top of our list.” 

Rafael smirked at Sonny, confirming his words had charmed the woman. 

“Now, I read in your application you would like a little girl. Would a four or five years old work?”

As she asked the question, Rafael felt Sonny’s hand tighten in his. It was distressing to him too that this woman could talk about children like buying a used car. Rafael was about to speak when Sonny chimed in. 

“Yes, five years old would be wonderful.” Sonny tone was sugary sweet, “Will the child be of Hispanic origin?” 

The woman’s expression changed ever so slightly, a normal applicant wouldn’t even noticed but Rafael suspected both he and Sonny picked up on it. She looked down at the application, scanning for a specific answer on their document. 

“Your application states you don’t speak Spanish, correct, Mr. Diaz?” She directly asked Rafael. 

“No, my parents thought it was important that I am my siblings speak English.” Rafael answered. This was one dimension of his cover identity that he hated, portraying a person that didn’t care about the language and culture of Cuban-Americans. 

Sonny interjected. “But we may be old fashioned-”

Rafael was unable to stop his eyebrow from raising. 

“But we are committed to raising our child in traditional American English speaking home.” 

 

“Oh perfect! We have a couple of little girls who have been recused. Our tutors have been working on their English since they arrived from Mexico.” She began to stamp their paperwork, Rafael assumed, approving them. This time it was Rafael who squeezed Sonny’s hand. 

“You will need to come by the orphanage to meet with this children and pick the one you have a special connection with. And then you will need to visit several times before we allow you to take her home.” she explained, “But I don’t see why you shouldn’t have a child by the end of the month.” 

“That’s great news!” Sonny exclaimed, Rafael was glad Sonny could fake excitement well because he felt like he was going to burst with anger. He knew that on the surface there wasn’t anything illegal or wrong about this operation but it made him uncomfortable. The unexplained deaths that were possibly links to this organization was enough to make him on edge. 

“I will need the first payment today.” 

“Of course.” Rafael spoke up. He reached for his wallet pulling out the pre-written check for ten thousand grand. 

The woman seemed to light up when he handed it to her. 

“We will be in contact with you soon.” she smiled and directed them outside of her office. 

Rafael’s face almost showed how disgusted he was as she walked them out. Suddenly, a pair of arms were wrapped about his neck and a quick peck on his lips. 

“My husband and I are so excited.” Sonny released Rafael and he had time to put a smile back on. 

“Yes, thank you for your help, Ms. VanHorn.” Rafael said before he and Sonny left the offices. 

Nothing was said until they were in the car. 

“They are fucking selling children!” Rafael yelled as he gripped the steering wheel. 

“Rafael, you shouldn’t-”

“We rescued them? Rescued? What a load of shit! If they are rescuing children why are they turning up dead!” 

“Rafael!” 

Rafael heard concern and worry in Sonny’s tone, his whole body tense.

“Sonny, the car isn’t wired.”

“How would you know that?”

“I checked, obviously.” 

Sonny looked half shocked and half impressed. 

“Why do you think I was attached to the movers? The living room and nursery are wired. Car, the bedroom, and the kitchen aren’t but I suspect our kitchen conversations could be heard by the living room mic.” 

“Wow, good work.”

Rafael was happy to be complemented by the FBI Agent. 

“Thank you. Do they normally have so much surveillance on you?” 

“Yeah, I’ve only had one mission where I was completely off grid. It wasn’t pleasant. I would rather they be listening.” 

Sonny’s tone was laced with pain, so Rafael didn’t question it further. 

The drive back to Jersey was quiet. Both men were thinking about the next steps in their journey. Rafael was worried about the young children, brought to this country, alone, scared and possibly in danger. He was going to do everything in his power to expose this organization and save the children from a horrible fate. 

He would wrap up this case, with or without Sonny. Afterwards he would personally hand the files for his first federal case to Nick. Then he would confess his attraction to the man outright and hopefully start a new chapter in his life with a wonderful man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated. 
> 
> I have been writing this chapter on and off for weeks so any feedback would be helpful! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of Houston and the State of Texas!


	4. Meeting Cat, Finding Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny picks their child. He and Rafael move past colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am exhausted. All the mistakes are mine. I have an outline for this so I know where it is going. I have had the written for a while but wanted to edit majorly before posting.

Sonny would say things were comfortable between himself and Rafael. A few weeks into their undercover operation and they lived together pleasantly enough. Ever since the first morning when they woke up tangled, Sonny did his best to sleep curled up on the extreme side of the bed to avoid touching Rafael. It didn’t make for the best sleep. Bu he didn’t want to make Rafael uncomfortable, he figured he had already done that when he disclosed his sexuality to him at the precinct when they first met. Rafael’s face had been unreadable. Sonny could usually read people, it was important to his work, but Rafael could hide his emotions well. 

They shared domestic tasks well. Sonny cooked their meals and Rafael cleaned up afterwards. They both kept the house as tidy as possible. The agency had ordered several home visits and Sonny wanted their place to be above reproach. He had re-organized the nursery at least three times before the first visit. Rafael had begrudgingly moved the furniture to designer Sonny’s specifications. When Rafael pointed out that Sonny could help moving the furniture, Sonny had simply smiled, and moved around the pillows on the toddler bed. Rafael’s glare had been worth it. 

Sonny had continued his obsession with perfection before their second visit.

“They won't know if there is laundry in the washer.” Rafael had told Sonny when he had run around before their last home visit. 

Sonny had just rolled his eyes at the comment. “But I will know!”

Rafael had chuckled as he watched speed fold their laundry. Sonny couldn’t deny he liked domestic tasks for two better than for one. During that home visit Rafael had been more affectionate than ever before. Rafael was close to him the whole time and even kissed him in front of their inspector. 

He couldn’t deny he found Rafael attractive. The man had a hard shell but from what Sonny could tell he was very kind underneath his steely exterior. They spent hours and hours researching their subjects, researching the kids they had been introduced to during their orphanage visits and going over the children they had met.

Rafael’s work ethic was better than most FBI Agents Sonny had partnered with. Sonny couldn’t help but admire the SVU Sergeant. 

Once Sonny knew where they could talk freely he took advantage of it. He told Rafael about his upbringing in Staten Island and his craziest FBI undercover story. Sonny had enjoyed Rafael’s easy going laughter when Sonny described what he had wore at a strip club. 

“Tell me the FBI keeps pictures.” he chuckled. 

“Wouldn’t you like to see them.” Sonny had teased. 

The dark blush on Rafael’s cheeks had made his day. 

Sonny had even gotten Rafael to open up to him. After their first visit to the orphanage Sonny had noticed Rafael’s tense shoulders seemed to be even higher than normal. 

“These kids have it pretty tough.” Sonny commented. 

“Yeah. We all carry our burdens.” Rafael had replied, not offering up any information about himself. 

“We do.” Sonny agreed. “What was your childhood like?"

Rafael had been silent for what felt to Sonny like forever before answering, “Lonely.” 

“I’m sorry.” Sonny responded as gently as possible. 

“I have a wonderful mother, she runs a school in the Bronx.” Rafael had shared, “She is a kind woman but it seems like kind people are often taken advantage.” 

Sonny had nodded in agreement. 

“My father was a bastard who hit my mother and hit me.” 

  
Sonny had been lost for words. He had proudly told Rafael all about his family that he adored, despite their estrangement, he still spoke of them fondly. 

“My father only hit me once.” Sonny confessed. They had been stopped at a red light, leaving the city when the conversation occurred. 

Sonny noticed that Rafael seemed to grip the wheel a bit tighter when he said, “Because you’re bi?” 

“Because I had a boyfriend.” Sonny clarified, “I could ‘claim’ whatever sexuality, my family didn’t care till I brought someone home, then it went from a ‘phase’ to a problem.”

“It must have been tough?” 

Sonny had signed when the light turned green and Rafael had begun to drive again. 

“Yeah, it’s the reason why I joined the FBI. I had to get away.” 

“You mean, it wasn’t for there fantastic health plan?” Rafael asked, not even looking at Sonny but on the road. 

“Wow, you can joke!”

Sonny had been elated to find out Rafael had a sense of humor. 

Rafael’s humor had disappeared by their third visit to the orphanage. He and Sonny were trying to be extremely careful with their pick. The children got more than English lessons at the orphanage. Sonny had never met such polite children.  The kids seemed trained to obey their caretakers, quickly. He was concerned that they would pick a child who may catch on that Rafael and he were not actually a blissfully wedded couple. 

  
Rafael growled in frustration as he parked car, this prepared Sonny for his mood.

“We need to pick a kid. The agency is getting impatient with us. Ms. VanHorn couldn’t believe we didn’t find one the first visit.” Rafael said with a hint of irritation that Sonny was now accustomed to.

“It’s not like shopping for a couch, Rafael.” 

Rafael didn’t respond, he simply exited the car and began to walk down the street. He was in one of his moods. Sonny could tell playing husbands was going to be a struggle today. He looked into the rearview mirror and said to himself, “You got this. Be patient with him.” 

As he exited the car he saw Rafael waiting at the bottom of the buildings steps where some of the children were playing. Sonny had learned pretty quickly by Rafael’s expressions and body language that he didn’t really care for children. 

He chuckled as a small girl latched onto Rafael’s side against his will. Although a funny scene, it made Sonny sad to think this child was showing Rafael affection so that maybe they would take her home. From the first time he entered the building he knew it was overcrowded. While the agencies offices had clean, fresh paint, the orphanage looked like it hadn’t been painted or renovated in years. Sonny could understand why Ms. VanHorn was getting annoyed by their continued presence.

Sonny bent down to the little girl, she appeared to be Afro-Hispanic, about seven or eight. 

“Hello!” Sonny greeted. “Can I have my husband back, please?” 

The little girl laughed at him. “That’s silly! Meeen can’t marry meeen!"

Sonny spotted Rafael’s irritated face but Sonny kept a bright smile on his face for the vulnerable little girl. 

“People who are in love get married.” he explained. 

She seemed to be calculating Sonny’s comment. She shrugged and ran off to play with the other children. 

“I don’t know why you waste time talking to children we don’t want.” Rafael whispered as they walked up the steps on the brownstone and rang the doorbell. 

“It doesn’t hurt to be nice to a child.” Sonny replied. 

The door opened before they could continue their conversation. Ms. VanHorn stood in the doorway and strained smile on her face. 

“Ah, the Diaz’s are back again.” 

“Thank you for giving us another appointment!” Sonny said, hoping he looked as friendly as possible, “I have a good feeling about today.” 

“Yeah, today could be the day.” Rafael’s tone wasn’t horrible but Sonny did elbow him in the side when she led them into the house. Sonny was an FBI Agent, not a pushover to Rafael’s bad moods. 

“We have placed the four children you have interacted the most in a room upstairs. It’s the second room on the left.” she instructed.

Sonny was a bit surprised that they were no longer receiving the gold star treatment. He knew there was no reason to be nervous. Their fake backgrounds were perfectly done by himself and Dana. He reasoned with himself that it was her irritation at not getting their final payment yet that was causing the slight animosity.  

“Thank you, Ms. VanHorn.” 

Rafael led the way up the stairs and went straight to the room. Sonny followed but stopped when he saw a small child sitting alone in the room next to where he and Rafael were meeting the kids. She was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees and although he couldn’t hear her, he suspected she was crying. 

He made his way over to her and sat next to her, not speaking but waiting for her to notice him. 

“Are you ok?” he asked in almost a whisper. 

She shook her head and then continued to cry. 

“How old are you sweetie?” He moved just a bit closer, trying not to startled the small girl. 

“Cinco.” she raised up one hand showing her five fingers. 

Sonny was surprised she spoke in Spanish. The children at the orphanage didn’t speak Spanish even if it was their native language. She must have been new because Sonny couldn’t remember seeing her before. 

He looked at her little hand and gasped when he saw a red welt across her palm.

“May I look at your hand?” he asked, reaching out to take her hand. She recoiled from him curling herself back into a ball. 

He looked around to make sure no one around. 

“Mano?” he reached out again. 

She seemed to perk up hearing a word in Spanish. She reached out her hand and Sonny began to inspect it. She had been hit with something, that was clear to him. 

He was about to ask her how it had happened when he heard Rafael calling his name. 

“In here.” Sonny responded. Both Rafael and Ms. VanHorn entered the room. He was a bit startled to see both of them.    


“Mr. Diaz?” 

“We want this little girl.” he declared. He was satisfied to be able to witness Rafael’s shocked expression. 

“Oh?” Ms.VanHorn said in a suspicious tone, “We just got her yesterday. She hasn’t spoken to anyone.” 

Rafael must have sensed Sonny’s determination because he walked over and sat next to his husband and the child. 

“She’s perfect.” Rafael said, “Dark hair like me, blue eyes like Sonny and just the right age.” 

Sonny was grateful that Rafael interjected.

“Well, then. We will begin calling her by the name you indicated, Catalina, correct?”

Sonny’s heart was breaking for this child. She wasn’t being treated well and now she had no identity other than what she was now being given to her. 

“Catalina Diaz. It’s perfect.” He hoped this smile gave the little girl some comfort. 

“Well then, I will start on the paperwork and she can be home with you in a week.” 

“Thank you, Ms VanHorn.” Rafael shook her hand and motioned from Sonny to follow him out. 

Sonny was reluctant to leave the little girl but he knew he had to. 

“I will see you soon.” he said quietly, just for her. 

Sonny felt rushed out of the orphanage by Ms. VanHorn and Rafael. Before he knew it they were back in the car on their way to Jersey. The car ride was silent which made Sonny uneasy. They had been able to talk freely there on previous trips. 

“Rafael-”

“Don’t talk to me right now, Sonny.” 

They entered the house and Rafael was still silent. Sonny followed Rafael to the bedroom, assuming he wanted to be somewhere they wouldn’t be heard on the wiretap. 

“Raf-” 

Rafael threw Sonny against their bedroom wall. 

“What do think you are doing?” Rafael snarled at him. Rafael hands were twisting in Sonny's shirt. 

“I don’t-”

“Oh, get that innocent look of your face. You put our cover at risk going rogue in there.” 

“I didn’t-”   


“This is not about saving one child, it’s about saving all of them…” 

Rafael’s anger seemed to dissipate and his grip on Sonny loosened. He leaned forward, Sonny thought he was going to kiss him but he just stayed hovering. 

“How can you be so kind all the time?” Rafael sighed. 

Sonny wasn’t sure what Rafael was referring to. His being nice to the children. Or the fact that he took care of Rafael, despite that fact that they weren’t actually married. 

After feeling Rafael’s breath against his lips Sonny crashed his mouth against Rafael. He placed his hands behind Rafael’s neck to keep him close. Not even a moment later, Sonny felt Rafael’s tongue caress his lips. Sonny moaned and Rafael took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Sonny felt relieved, he wanted this since the first time he saw Rafael in the precinct.

Rafael separated from Sonny, he didn’t look angry but hesitant. 

“Please Rafael. Rafi. I need you.” Sonny whispered, he hoped his desperation had convinced his partner to continue. 

Rafael hovered over Sonny’s lips. “This is a bad idea.” 

Rafael kissed Sonny again, the second time with more aggression and passion. Sonny found himself being pulled from his position on the wall and being pulled along towards the bed. Sonny felt a new freedom as he allowed Rafael to maneuver him onto the bed. Sonny let the older man lead, sensing his desperation. Rafael unbuttoned Sonny’s shirt and he ran his hands along Sonny’s skin, which caused Sonny to gasp at the sudden contact. 

“From the first moment we met I have been nothing but a jerk to you. How can you want me?” Rafael asked in between bites to Sonny’s neck. Sonny felt his face flush as the Rafael’s kisses moved from his neck to his collarbone and then his chest. 

Sonny locked his hands in Rafael’s hair, he pulled on it till they made eye contact. 

“Rafael, who wouldn’t want you?” Sonny smiled. He couldn’t place the emotion on Rafael’s face but suddenly, Rafael’s hands were on his pants and Sonny didn’t want to think anymore. 

It had been years since Sonny’s had been intimate with someone he trusted completely. It felt like Rafael had know his body for years, he stroked every place that made him twitch and each sensitive spot that made him groan. 

  
There was little to no embarrassment between them. Even when Sonny shyly asked if they had condoms because did married people have condoms. Rafael had just smirked, twisting his fingers deeper inside Sonny. 

“I bought some a few days ago at the pharmacy.” 

Sonny laughed, while being stretched, that was a new one for him, 

“You mean, when you, urgh, went to get...aspirin. Oh, please, keep going.” 

Sonny wished silently that this was all real. They were married and going to adopt. It was his husband inside him. He wanted to remember every feeling and every sound. The sound of Rafael panting in his ear. The feel of his hands on his body. The effect his thrusts had on Sonny’s quivering body. 

He slept that night more soundly than he had in years. He went to bed happy, curled up next to a man he was falling in love with and soon they would have a child in their home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback is appreciated.


	5. New Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael is contacted by an old friend and Catalina is brought to the Diaz home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has been consuming me BUT now I have two weeks off so I am trying to catch up on my WIPs.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Please feel free to comment with encouragements and critiques.

Rafael was woken up by the buzzing sound of his cell phone. He attempted to reach his burner cell on the nightstand but his faux husband was wrapped tightly around his waist, his sandy head of hair resting on Rafael’s chest, keeping him from being able to move. Sonny’s body cool against his. Rafael ran in his hand along Sonny’s back hoping his touch would wake him. 

Maybe he had been too lonely for too long. Sonny, the man he had resented when they met, had wormed his way into Rafael’s heart. He looked forward to seeing Sonny each morning. He enjoyed their long work days and their homemade meals. 

He had learned his resentment of Sonny was unnecessary. The young man had not desired a career with the FBI but used the opportunity to escape from an unsupportive family and a cheating boyfriend. They were both passionate about helping people which is probably what Rafael found attractive. Sonny’s kindness and drive to help was genuine, a rarity in their field. 

They also both had a interest in law. Rafael had wanted to go to law school and had even gotten into Harvard as a young man but quickly realized the financial burden even with scholarships would be too great on his mother and choose to stay in New York. He had never considered himself cop material but he learned his short temper and quick wit aided him in his work. Sonny, even though his career was going well, had been looking into law school. Apparently he had a friend who was a federal prosecutor that had encouraged his aspirations and even helped him fill out applications. 

Rafael hadn’t been able to hide his smile over dinner one night when Sonny informed him he had applied to Fordham in New York, Rafael’s backyard. Rafael enjoyed the thought of Sonny being near, maybe becoming an ADA and working with him on a regular basis. 

Sonny didn’t even stir when Rafael’s phone buzzed again. 

Their relationship had changed drastically in a week since they discovered the young girl they would adopt. They had completed the allotted visits before they could bring her home. During their visits Sonny acted as a lookout so Rafael could talk to the young child. She remembered being taken from her home at night but couldn’t give Rafael any details. He tried to figure out if she was sold or kidnapped but the five year old was very weary of talking too much. She was extremely shy and sometimes would only continue after a hug from Sonny. 

Today was the day the agency would bring her to their home. Hopefully they would be able to get more answers soon. Their contact with the FBI had been minimal. Rafael wanted to solve the case but he didn’t want this time with Sonny to end.

Rafael carefully extended his reach and grabbed the vibrating cell phone, unlocking it. He expected an email from the agency but instead saw a simple text; ‘call me - n’. Rafael felt his stomach drop. Nick wanted him to contact him while he was undercover. He knew the promising ADA wouldn’t put his career on the line unless it was important. 

He placed his hands on Sonny’s hands and slowly maneuvered out of the sleeping man’s grasp. He got up and gathered his boxers from the floor next to the bed. Rafael had just finished putting them on when he heard a sleepy voice. 

“Raf? W-what’s wrong?” 

Rafael looked on the bed and saw Sonny struggling to open his eyes. His hair was going in multiple directions and he could have swore there was some dried drool on his cheek. Rafael chuckled at the sight of the drowsy agent. 

Sonny smiled softly as Rafael’s laugh. 

“Everything is fine.” he whispered. He leaned over the bed and captured Sonny’s lips in a passionate kiss. He really shouldn’t be encouraging this thing, whatever it was, between them. For once in his life, Rafael was excited to play into a fantasy. It was alluring to imagine this beautiful man, loved him and wanted to be with him not only physically but as a partner. Playing house was addicting in its own way. 

He didn’t expect the half-asleep man to wrap his arms around his neck and attempt to pull him back into bed. 

“Mhhhmm. Sonny, I need to go to the bathroom.” 

This time Sonny chuckled. “Well, don’t let me keep you.” 

Sonny moved his lips to Rafael’s neck and moved his kissed up till he reached his ear, giving it a bite then speaking lowly. “If you want company in the shower, I’d be happy to join you.” 

Rafael couldn’t stop a moan from escaping his lips. Sonny’s teeth right below his ear sent shivers down his spine. 

“Just give me a minute, ok.” 

“Kay.” 

Rafael rushed into the bathroom and typed a short, quick reply. He would call later. Nick had to understand that a man undercover couldn’t be at his beck and call. He was used to communicating with Nick every step of case, not having the man to talk to wasn’t easy. But he needed to hold off and not involve Sonny in Nick’s communication especially if he was going behind the FBI’s back.

He turned the phone off and placed it in a bathroom drawer. He turned on the shower and let the steam heat up the room. The sound of the shower had the desired effect. Sonny walked, completely naked, still looking half asleep. Before Rafael could do anything Sonny hooked his fingers into Rafael’s boxers. 

“You are too dressed for the shower.” Sonny mumbled. 

Sonny was right. He was definitely right. 

****

They had gone back to bed after their shared shower, skipping their usual breakfast routine. It was afternoon before Rafael could sneak out of the house and call Nick. 

Rafael felt nervous waiting for Nick to answer. He had been hyper focused on Nick for years now, it was strange to not want to talk to him. Their flirtation had never led to anything concrete but Rafael still felt strongly for him. 

Nick had supported him through his transition to Sergeant even helped him study for the exam. Rafael always believed once things settled at work, things would change between them. Now, with Sonny in the mix Rafael wasn’t quite sure what to think. 

The phone stopped ringing. 

“The agency is suspicious. They know they are being watched.” Nick’s voice sounded soft and careful. “We should meet.” 

“Are you sure?” Rafael questioned. 

“Yes, we need to meet by the end of the week.” 

“Nick, what makes you think they suspect?”

Nick sighed, Rafael was familiar with that annoyed sound, “They have run multiple background checks on both of you.” 

“That doesn’t sound too strange. They are extremely detailed.” 

“Rafael, por favor, just meet with me.” 

“Nick, we shouldn’t-” 

“I thought you would be glad to hear from me, Rafi.”

Rafael felt stunned, he should be happy to hear from Nick. They always looked out for each other before why should things be different just because he was sleeping with Sonny. 

“I am, Nick. Text me when and where.” 

The phone was off with a click without a reply. 

He sighed. Rafael had been hoping for a bit more of a conversation. He walked the few blocks back to the house and was greeted by the smell of lunch when he opened the door. He heard Sonny humming to himself. 

Rafael snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“RAFAEL. GEESH. Man with a knife here!” Sonny exclaimed, stopping his work at the cutting board, dropping his knife. 

Sonny turned around in Rafael’s arms. Rafael didn’t give him a chance to speak. He leaned up and closed the space between himself and the taller agent. Sonny did not protest as Rafael slipped his tongue into the younger man’s mouth. He hadn’t been the handsy with a lover in quite a while. 

When he pulled away, Sonny was staring at him with an unreadable expression. 

“Is this too much?” Rafael asked softly. He wanted Sonny to be honest with him. He didn’t want his physical affection to go past whatever Sonny wanted from him. 

“Nah.” Sonny reached for Rafael’s jogging pants and hooked his thumb in the waistband like he had earlier before their shower. “But if I blew you right here, that might be too much especially since Cat will be here any moment.” 

They both chuckled and then Sonny went back to preparing lunch while Rafael watched. 

“You know you should really learn to cook, Mr. Diaz.” Sonny teased. 

“Why? When my husband can cook.” 

Rafael enjoyed their banter, it had become much easier since they had become physically involved. He had to admit he was worried how things would change once ‘Cat’ was in the home. He had a feeling the amount of sex would definitely change but he hoped the intimacy between them would not. 

A knock at the door drew Rafael away from his thoughts. He and Sonny didn’t have to speak. They looked at each other with comforting expressions. 

Rafael opened the door to reveal Ms.VanHorn and their little Catalina. The older woman had a sour expression on her face and she was holding Cat’s hand tightly as if to keep the child from running. Catalina’s cheeks were red and she looked like she had been crying. Upon seeing Rafael she tore her hand out of Ms. VanHorn’s and ran to him. Rafael bent down and caught her in his arms. 

“Rafi, y-” 

Before any Spanish could leave her lips, Rafael tighten his arms around her and spoke, “Catalina, we are so happy you are finally here with us.” 

She pulled away and Rafael saw a frightened expression on her face. He hoped his face showed his emotions to her and not Ms. VanHorn. He wanted her to feel safe but also needed her to play along. He watched as her small eyes tracked over to Sonny and widened. 

Sonny collected her from Rafael and held her in his arms. She was small for her age and Sonny had no problem holding her with her tear-streaked face away from Ms. VanHorn. 

“Thank you so much, Ms. VanHorn for delivering our baby to us.” Sonny smiled. 

Rafael stood up and shook her hand, which felt like ice. “Yes, we are excited to get her settled in.” 

“Well then, I will let you all get to it. I didn’t think you would want any of her belongings from the orphanage, they were all from the donations box.” Her cold expression turned into a sly smile. “Now, I will need the final payment before I leave.” 

Rafael shuttered internally at the word payment. 

“We are paid in full.” he answered, looking to Sonny.. 

“Yes, for the processing of the adoption but in your contract stipulates a delivery fee of $3,500, per child.” Rafael heard no emotion in the woman’s tone. 

Rafael had always known the case involved the agency’s dealings, that they were somehow involved but in that moment everything was confirmed. They preyed on desperate couples. Gay couples that had difficulty with the many religious based adoption agencies. Maybe the agency took the child away if they didn’t have the at-the-door fee. He feared the children were then kept till more and more fees were paid, these ransomed children kept until the family had nothing left to offer. 

“If you need time to collect the money, I will take the child back with me.” Ms. VanHorn stepped towards Sonny, who tighten his grip on Cat. Catalina threw her hands around Sonny’s neck and Rafael could hear her softly crying. 

“That won’t be necessary.” Rafael stepped in front of Sonny and Catalina before the vile woman could put her hands on their child. “Let me get my checkbook.” 

Rafael went straight to their first floor office space. The files and research on the agency all tucked away. Rafael felt his hand shake as he penned the check. 

It was really all quite simple. It was all for money. Children’s live on the line for cold hard cash. 

He returned to the living room, Ms. VanHorn was impatiently tapping her heel. Sonny had relocated to the couch with little Catalina on his lap. The young child of five looked no more than three or four next to Sonny, she was so very tiny. 

He handed Ms. VanHorn the check and opened the front door. 

“Thank you for all your help.” the words tasted bitter in his mouth. 

“Thank you for your business Mr. Diaz. I hope you’ll come to us should you want little Catalina to have a sibling.” 

Rafael could swear he heard Sonny scoff as he gently closed the door behind Ms. VanHorn. 

“That wretched-” Sonny started but Rafael shushed him as he watched the woman walk to her car from the front door window. 

“She’s gone.” Rafael confirmed and walked over to the couch to sit with Sonny and Catalina, sighing heavily. 

“She’s a witch, Rafi.” Sonny declared, wiping the tears from Catalina’s face. Sonny handled the small girl with such gentleness. He admired the man. He was a nature father. Rafael didn’t know the first thing about being a father, his own absent from his childhood. But he knew that little girl trusted him. Rafael’s heart had skipped a beat when she had run into his arms. 

Sonny asked her in Spanish if she was hungry, she nodded in confirmation. Rafael watched Sonny take Catalina to their eat in kitchen and sit her at the table. Rafael went to the kitchen had helped Sonny gathered their lunch and bring it to the table. He handed Sonny a glass of water. 

“Thank you, Rafi.” Sonny encouraged Catalina to drink the water, hoping it would calm her slightly tense breathing. 

Rafael served himself a glass of wine and leaned on the kitchen counter. He was mesmerized watching Sonny help their new charge with her food. He told her what each thing was and cut the food into small bites for her. 

Rafael was totally immersed in Sonny’s interactions with Catalina. As he watched he thought about the little Janie Doe on a slab in the morgue. He thought she had been abandoned. Now, he thought about a family somewhere, a couple who wanted to see her more than anything but didn’t know the child they desired was dead. 

His cell phone beeped. An email from the agency with an invoice including extra money requests. 

Extortion had began for the Diaz’s. 

“Rafi,” Sonny voice cut through his thoughts, “Come join us.” 

“Rafi, ven aqui!” their little girl demanded food spilling from her mouth as she spoke. 

“Ok, ok, princesa!” he filled a glass of wine for Sonny and took his glass over to the table to sit with his new family. 

They would stop these people. He and Sonny would not have another child suffer like the one he saw in the morgue. Rafael felt haunted by the unknown child. Now when he closed his eyes the child on the slab wasn’t unknown, it was Catalina.


End file.
